Dario Beck returns to the dry cleaners to complain about a bad cleaning job.
So of course, he gets the nice stiff dick of Andy Star up his asshole for his troubles.
Yeah, it’s a bit of a silly set up but in the end, we have Dario Beck and Andy Star in suits… fucking. So That’s really all I need to know.
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The year was 1978 and… well, Star Wars had been around for about a year and a half. It had only grown in popularity and fans couldn’t get enough Star Wars anything.
While home video didn’t exist yet and the movie hadn’t been shown on TV, fans shelled over money for comic books, posters, novels, action figures, space ship miniatures and pretty much anything else with Star Wars on it.
While a sequel movie was already being planned, it was years off and to keep people from forgetting or moving on, CBS suggested a TV special. Bruce Vilanch was one of the writers and he was tasked with following the idea of George Lucas to have it mostly speechless Wookies grunting at each other for 2 hours.
It’s mortifying, but oddly entertaining in the same way it’s fun to watch a building being demolished.
The story is… odd… it has Han, Chewie, Luke and Leah all coming to a sort of Wookie Thanksgiving but they all get delayed by the Empire. Some footage from the original movie is used and a lot of dialogue is lazily dubbed over it. The Death Star is inexplicably back together and Darth Vader makes a sort of cameo appearance (so does Boba Fett who actually debuts in this… mess).
Things to watch for: An alien cooking show featuring Harvey Corman that isn’t mildly amusing for about 30 seconds and then excruciating for the next 8 minutes. Bea Arthur singing a song trying to clear out a bar, Art Carney telling a bunch of very unfunny jokes, Lola Falana playing a CGI masturbation movie (that the grandfather watches while sitting in the living room). Mark Hamill had been in a motorcycle accident so he looks… wrong. Carrie Fisher shows up at the end and is so stoned she seems to be more interested in the invisible butterflies in the room before she bursts into song. There’s also a sort of weird toy circus thing that Lumpy watches for 10 times longer than anyone would want to see it.
Jefferson Starship also sings for some reason.
George Lucas was apparently so horrified by the end result that he refused to ever let it be seen again. But thanks to the wonder of Youtube.. here it is for you. OH and in the book “From A Certain Point Of View,” Chuck S Wendig made Bea Arthur’s character canon which… technically makes this whole mess canon… so… yes, this all happened.
My first love was Han Solo. Not Harrison Ford… Han Solo. But even I had trouble suffering through this mess when it first aired.
I LOVE hearing the behind-the-scenes bits from GayHoopla because you get a real picture of how REAL those scenes are.
This isn’t hype… that really WAS Bradley Whitman’s first dick. He’d never kissed a guy, never sucked a dick and he sure as hell hadn’t ever been fucked before. But… there’s a first time for everything, right?
GayHoopla director Landon and I were chatting recently (we’ve kept in touch since our Fratmen days) and he gave me the inside scoop. The big rule for all porn makers is “YOU DO NOT FUCK THE TALENT.” It never ends well and it always ends bad. It’s always a bad idea to fuck the talent.
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It’s hard to know where to start with this. The Brady Bunch Variety Hour was a very unfortunate attempt to recreate the Donny and Marie show using the only whiter TV property… the cast of the Brady Bunch.. who performed in character. Now… most of them couldn’t sing (although the girl recast as Jan could kinda sorta sing) and they really couldn’t dance (although I’d have taken a few pelvic thrusts from Greg) and Alice clearly didn’t know any of the dance steps… Dad couldn’t bend over and the whole thing is such a mess it’s hard to know where to look.
bonus points for that haphazardly thrown together multilayer blue screen at the end that threw in a swimming pool in front of them and miniature kick dancers in front of that…
There is no excuse for this other than “it was the 70s and we didn’t know any better.”
The first time I worked with Luke Adams was back in 2015 when we were shooting Like Father Like Son. That was about 2 years ago and he was playing a very young man… in the script (and the novelization that I started and keep threatening to finish), he’s 18 but we never said that in the finished movie. But he had that angelic young man look to him… smooth as a ripe peach, corn fed and bursting with that youthful energy.
Now, I’m not going to say that he no longer has those qualities… but when he showed up on the set of Swap… he’d grown a beard and allowed his chest hair to grow in. He told us he’d shave it off to shoot the scene and we all loudly said “NO.” We all agreed that he looked great and we’d love to shoot him as a man in his mid 20s… he still has that perfect ass, that dick that stays rock hard no matter what and that uncanny ability to perform on camera and always look like he has no idea the camera is there (that’s not easy).
We paired him up with newcomer Adam Thicke. Adam is hairy… like… walking carpet hairy. That’s a huge turn on for Luke and me… he also has a really big, thick, uncut dick and we couldn’t wait to pair the two of them together. They didn’t disappoint. A few short moments together in the pool and you felt like you were watching a couple friends finally getting around to fucking (and if you watch the movie you know that simultaneously, Hunter and Tex are in the next room fucking up a storm).
And WOW those cumshots.
BTW… fun story from the set. We shot this over White Party weekend. And there was a big house of rather handsome gay men who’d rented the house next door to ours who saw that we were shooting porn and spent most of the time we were outside watching over the fence.
I may or may not have later hooked up with one of them.
Anyway… watch the full scene at Titanmen.
I will admit…
I’ve wanted to see Hunter get his ass fucked good and hard by Tex.
Hunter is a strong man… he can take it and like it. He’s always one of the guys we call when we need a big hunk of muscle. And Tex is an equally strong man who can REALLY dish out a good solid fuck.
So pairing them together is bound to get you jerking off non-stop. Such a hot scene. And your old buddy Jasun directed it so you know we show you ALL the things you wanted to see and you get to see it all up close and lit well enough to see it.
The hottest part was when Hunter was down on all fours facing the mirror while getting fucked from behind. Hunter is watching himself get fucked. And he’s looking at Tex in the eye in the mirror while Tex slides that huge dick up his hole.
Trust, me, you don’t wanna miss this one.
This was quite the scene. It’s rare we have someone in two scenes in a row, but the script called for Jack Hunter’s character to fuck with Adam Ramzi and then Jason Vario arrives and fucks Jack again. It was HOT… Very hot. And we had no AC so… we just had to push through it all.
I wanted a bit of parallel to the two scenes… In the first one, Jack stands up and blows a load in Adam’s face so in this scene the setup is the same, but it’s Jack on the receiving end this time.
We used a few different parts of that huge room. It’s not very often I have walls stripped bare (I think the last time was in Hard At Work with George Ce and Landon Conrad) so I was able to get a good run with the guys pushed up against the wall.
I also wanted to get a good riding position in the middle so I could see Jack’s hard dick flopping around 360°. And of course it had to end with Jack on his back so Jason could cum in his face like that.
And WOW those cumshots were big. Really big.