Dean Monroe for Boy Butter. No, really. This is a real commercial.

I adore Dean, he’s the star of three of my favorite scenes I’ve ever directed.

with Morgan Black (here), with Kevin Crows (here) and (easily in my top 3) with John Magnum and Devin Draz (here).

Boy Butter is calling this “the first gay infomercial,” and it’s apparently going to run on American TV in 2015.

Oh. Oh my…

If I did Porn Parodies of every David Fincher movie…

David Fincher is my favorite living director. I’ve hung on every one of his movies since his first (Alien3) until the most recent Gone Girl. I’m still hoping that the success of Gone Girl will lead to a second Dragon Tattoo movie, but I’ll be happy to see him do anything.

IMG_4790But… I mean, I do make porn and what it porn without the odd parody? While I’ve never actually made a porn parody before, I’m not totally opposed to the idea. I even had hoped to work on a second Whorry Potter movie with Dominic Ford and even offered to do a walk-on.

So this brings me back to David Fincher. If was going to make a parody, I’d probably want to use my favorite director as inspiration so it would make sense that his movies would be where I’d start. (my favorite director ever was Kubrick but his one venture into porn, the abysmal Eyes Wide Shut, showed that you can’t make Kubrick sexy even if you’e Kubrick. My “runner up” director would be Terry Gilliam but not sure how one could turn any of those into porn movies, either. Aside from maybe 12 Monkeys, and even that would be a stretch.)

And then… the titles. A good porn parody is nothing without a good title. You have to know what movie it’s referencing and the title has to be funny and a dirty innuendo. So… if I did parodies of the 10 David Fincher movies… this is what I’d call them….

1. Fight Club – Fuck Club
2. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo – The Guy With The Drag Queen Tattoo
3. Gone Girl – Gone Gay
4. Alien3  – Gaylien3
5. The Game – The Gay
6. Se7en – Se7en Inch”s
7. Zodiac – Jake Gyllenhaal fucked in a basement by a tatted-up Pagan who owns a rep movie house, who cares what it’s called?
8. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – The Curious Taste of Benjamin Bottom
9. Panic Room – Play Room
10. The Social Network – Grindr.