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My Boss Caught Me Jerking Off.

So now that I’ve relaunched here at DickHarden and I’m updating semi-regularly, one of my top search terms is “Jasun Mark Caught Jerking Off.”

And… yes… like a few times a month I still get asked for this clip. It’s been nearly a decade since Jake Cruise caught me jerking off in my office, shot video of it, posted it on the now-defunct CocksureMen blog called “CuzUrHorny” and… I became a meme.


People still ask me about this and I’m going to come clean. Not like I’m an Oscar-caliber actor, but the fact that many people aren’t sure if this was real or not means that Jake and I did pretty well. But yeah, this was planned and this was, in fact TAKE THREE. I had to cum three times before we got it right. I was pretty tired when I got home.

Enjoy (clearly I did)

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That time I made a gay porn movie based loosely on Aaron Schock.

The original working title was “Aaron’s Cock,” but as the script grew and changed, we decided on the running joke of his name being Mike Cauke which sounds like “my cock.” And Cauke For President was born.

We cast the then unknown Matthew Bosch as Mike… his boyish looks and gigantic dick made it a no-brainer. We added Nick Prescott, Tex Davidson, Dallas Steele, David Benjamin, Adam Ramzi and Luke Adams to the mix and the movie took on a life of its own.

It took on a life of its own… the movie became the biggest hit I ever directed and was nominated for more awards than I could even remember. I still have people asking me about it and last week while I was on a self-imposed retreat in Palm Springs for some much-needed downtime, I met a very handsome lawyer from Canada who told me that the scene with Tex and David was one of his favorite gay porn scenes ever. When he told me this, he didn’t know that I’d directed that movie and written that scene.

Anyway… now that CITIZEN Aaron Schock, anti-gay former Senator who voted against gay people every chance he got has been… well, photographed making out with his hands down a dude’s pants while walking around half naked at Coachella… I figure it’s time for us to go back to Cauke and have some fun.

There’s a HUGE gallery of pics from the movie after the jump… Or just CLICK HERE to see Cauke In Action...

Watch the full movie at Titanmen.

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Saturday Night Live’s Gay Porn Sketch?

It’s kinda lazy comedy and low-hanging fruit… but it’s at least kinda funny… Emma Stone plays an actress playing the titular “mom who was away for some reason” while her husband has sex with her son. Or something.

It gets a bit tired for gay Porn to be such an easy goto joke, but straight people, bless their hearts, love to get the gay laugh in.

Anyway… if you really wanna see some good Dad/Son action… my own movie Like Father Like Son that has no “mom comes home” moment, and a much happier ending.

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Red Light

One of the stranger things about this scene is that it’s literally been over a decade since I saw anyone smoking in a porn movie. It just struck me as… something I hadn’t seen in a long time.

Anyway… Christian Sam and Robbie Rojo are suited (of course, this is MenAtPlay) and at what appears to be a gay sex club. Before long we have slings, bondage gear and some rather beautiful surreal sex.

I love the tone of this one.

It reminds me of the sex parties I used to find myself at back in the 90s… dark and eerie and dangerous and totally hot. Where you could just let yourself go.

Check out the whole movie at MenAtPlay

Big gallery of stills after the jump…

Read more →

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If I did Porn Parodies of every David Fincher movie…

David Fincher is my favorite living director. I’ve hung on every one of his movies since his first (Alien3) until the most recent Gone Girl. I’m still hoping that the success of Gone Girl will lead to a second Dragon Tattoo movie, but I’ll be happy to see him do anything.

IMG_4790But… I mean, I do make porn and what it porn without the odd parody? While I’ve never actually made a porn parody before, I’m not totally opposed to the idea. I even had hoped to work on a second Whorry Potter movie with Dominic Ford and even offered to do a walk-on.

So this brings me back to David Fincher. If was going to make a parody, I’d probably want to use my favorite director as inspiration so it would make sense that his movies would be where I’d start. (my favorite director ever was Kubrick but his one venture into porn, the abysmal Eyes Wide Shut, showed that you can’t make Kubrick sexy even if you’e Kubrick. My “runner up” director would be Terry Gilliam but not sure how one could turn any of those into porn movies, either. Aside from maybe 12 Monkeys, and even that would be a stretch.)

And then… the titles. A good porn parody is nothing without a good title. You have to know what movie it’s referencing and the title has to be funny and a dirty innuendo. So… if I did parodies of the 10 David Fincher movies… this is what I’d call them….

1. Fight Club – Fuck Club
2. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo – The Guy With The Drag Queen Tattoo
3. Gone Girl – Gone Gay
4. Alien3  – Gaylien3
5. The Game – The Gay
6. Se7en – Se7en Inch”s
7. Zodiac – Jake Gyllenhaal fucked in a basement by a tatted-up Pagan who owns a rep movie house, who cares what it’s called?
8. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – The Curious Taste of Benjamin Bottom
9. Panic Room – Play Room
10. The Social Network – Grindr.

 

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