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Gay actors playing gay characters? Well I’ll be damned.

DC really went balls to the wall with their TV expanded universe that all started with Arrow. I’ve always been hooked to this universe because it all started with sex on legs Stephen Amell. As the universe expanded to include shows The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow and Supergirl, I was impressed with the true diversity the shows offered. We have gay men, lesbians, interracial couples and age gaps that all illustrate complex relationships rather than stereotypes. The latest massive crossover event locked lips with Russell Tovey and Wentworth Miller.

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Men: Justice League Part 2

What a time to be alive for comic book fans! In the last month, we got Thor: Ragnorak, Justice League, Avengers: Infinity War trailer and Men.com’s high budget porn parody of Justice League. Part rolls out today with Colby Keller as Green Lantern and living legend Francois Sagat looking all kinds of badass as Aquaman.

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The Last Time I Went To The GayVNs, I Stole Michael Lucas’ Limo. And Yet, They’re Inviting Me Back.

I don’t even remember the year, but I was still working at Fratmen. That’s how long ago it was.

2007, I think.

We were nominated for one GayVN Award that we knew we wouldn’t win, but we went anyway because it was a party.

FIRST CRAZY COOL STORY.

I met Eric Rhodes. I was standing next to a few studio people and I was chatting with them… I thought my friend Jeff from MaleFlixxx was stinging next to me and I turned to him to tell a joke… I made it literally 4 seconds into it before realizing it was porn royalty Eric Rhodes and not my friend Jeff…. I was HORRIFIED. I was thinking “OH man.. he’s going to be REALLY mean to me.”

But I was already telling the joke so I just… finished it. And instead of saying “who the fuck are you?” he laughed, said something like “OH I KNOW, RIGHT?” and we laughed some more. He then said something probably funnier back. That was when I knew that Eric was not, as I had suspected, an attitude-filled, stuck up jerk but one of the coolest, nicest and most laid-back men in porn.

SECOND CRAZY STORY.

I was drunk at the end of the night and I didn’t want to walk back to the hotel and I didn’t know how to get back. So one of my friends and I literally just… jumped into the limo of Michael Lucas and told the driver to take us to the hotel. We kinda expected to get arrested. The driver started to drive off and then he slammed on the brakes and yelled “YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED IN HERE” and got out of the car, came barreling around and told us to get out…. and THEN… Michael Lucas and Tony Dimarco appeared… trying to get into the limo that we were trying to get out of before the cops arrived.

I was GOING to beg Michael to not have us arrested, but instead of that… he laughed and said “Are you going back to the hotel? I take you there.” So not only did I NOT get a strip search, I got a free ride to my hotel AND I got to hang with Tony DiMarco (who is one of my favorite porn directors).

THRID CRAZY STORY.

The nominations for the GayVN Awards came out today and… Titan has 30 nominations, including TWO for me… for Best Director in the Feature category (For Cauke For Free) and Best Director in the Non-Feature category (for Demolition).

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If I did Porn Parodies of every David Fincher movie…

David Fincher is my favorite living director. I’ve hung on every one of his movies since his first (Alien3) until the most recent Gone Girl. I’m still hoping that the success of Gone Girl will lead to a second Dragon Tattoo movie, but I’ll be happy to see him do anything.

IMG_4790But… I mean, I do make porn and what it porn without the odd parody? While I’ve never actually made a porn parody before, I’m not totally opposed to the idea. I even had hoped to work on a second Whorry Potter movie with Dominic Ford and even offered to do a walk-on.

So this brings me back to David Fincher. If was going to make a parody, I’d probably want to use my favorite director as inspiration so it would make sense that his movies would be where I’d start. (my favorite director ever was Kubrick but his one venture into porn, the abysmal Eyes Wide Shut, showed that you can’t make Kubrick sexy even if you’e Kubrick. My “runner up” director would be Terry Gilliam but not sure how one could turn any of those into porn movies, either. Aside from maybe 12 Monkeys, and even that would be a stretch.)

And then… the titles. A good porn parody is nothing without a good title. You have to know what movie it’s referencing and the title has to be funny and a dirty innuendo. So… if I did parodies of the 10 David Fincher movies… this is what I’d call them….

1. Fight Club – Fuck Club
2. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo – The Guy With The Drag Queen Tattoo
3. Gone Girl – Gone Gay
4. Alien3  – Gaylien3
5. The Game – The Gay
6. Se7en – Se7en Inch”s
7. Zodiac – Jake Gyllenhaal fucked in a basement by a tatted-up Pagan who owns a rep movie house, who cares what it’s called?
8. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – The Curious Taste of Benjamin Bottom
9. Panic Room – Play Room
10. The Social Network – Grindr.

 

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