Life kinda catches up with you a bit sometimes… Sometimes that’s good and sometimes it’s bad. Been a rather wild few weeks for me here at DickHarden (and if you’ve been visiting here, you know my Malware attacks and design woes have… well, been slowing shit down here). But I’m back and I’ll be around a lot more. So Keep checking back and I’ll be posting here a lot more. Lemme know what you want to see.
A sadly-necessary roundup of bullshit from the inter webs.
No, “I would do anything for love but I won’t do that” isn’t about anal sex. Or pegging. And meatloaf didn’t write that song.
No, Madonna did not “perform with holograms.” Those were just digital layovers done for the TV audience. The live audience didn’t see them.
No, Hillary Clinton still isn’t going to be arrested.
There was no cloning facility discovered in the Nevada desert.
Marijuana doesn’t kill cancer cells.
Turmeric doesn’t cure Alzheimer’s.
Dandelion root doesn’t cure liver failure.
Ginger doesn’t treat kidney problems.
Boiled banana peel doesn’t help you “melt fat.”
Vaccinate your damn kids.
There is no such thing as a “condom that tests for STDs.”
Christian twit Bryan Fischer explained, for some reason, that there are “two parts to a homosexual liaison, the top and the bottom and neither part of that can get into the eternal kingdom.” Which is fine because if there aren’t bottoms in Heaven, I don’t wanna go.
There’s also a bit about Pete Buttigieg and that gives me a chance to post this:
Also, it was a HOLIDAY special. Not a “Christmas” special.
SO if you haven’t heard because… I dunno, your only internet is DickHarden (and if so, your old buddy Jasun thanks you)… the “teaser trailer” for the new Star Wars movie is out… now… it’s not much of a teaser. It’s really just a 90-second video montage that essentially just shows us moving pictures of the people that we knew were in the movie anyway… virtually no dialogue or real idea of what the movie is about. The only solid info that we have is that the movie takes place a substantial amount of time after the events of the successful but maligned The Last Jedi. The only other hint of what it may be about comes with the cryptic title “The Rise of Skywalker” and the disembodied laugh that was unmistakably from Emperor Palpatine (who, we assumed, died on the second Death Star so he’s either appearing as a Force Ghost or he didn’t really die).
But as a die-hard Star Wars fan, I’ll of course go see this… and was wearing my X-Wing Fighter onesie, drinking from my Death Star rocks glass and holding my light saber because… that’s how I roll.
Also… for the love of the green horned god of the woods… please stop telling me “you should make a gay porn movie about Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin.” Ain’t nobody wanna see that. Especially me.
You know when you see a cloud and think “that looks like a dog” or “that looks like a face?”
Well, in Washington State yesterday… people were looking up into the clouds and saying “that looks like a dick.”
Navy officials have apparently released a statement saying “The Navy holds its aircrew to the highest standards and we find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value and we are holding the crew accountable.”
When reached for comment about who to sue/arrest/charge for the mostly benign outline, FAA officials said unless the act poses a safety risk, there is nothing they can do about it. The official said they “cannot police morality.”
Also, apparently some upset mom threw a fit saying “how do I explain this to my kids.” Lady, it’s a body part. You should have already explained that to them and if they’re boys, they already know.
Honestly, some people really need to relax.