Lizzo shot a new lip-sync video for her hit Juice with the cast of RuPaul’s drag race backing her up… I love this song.
What a fun shoot that was… I didn’t direct this. My buddy Trenton Ducati did. He had called me up out of nowhere and asked if I’d be interested in coming on as part of the production team for the new Hot House movie that was to be shot in the semi-snow-covered Idyllwild. The movie had no name yet, but we had our cast and location and wrote in all the blanks as we went along.
Trenton and I met when he was a new performer on the set of François Sagat’s Incubus and I was a newly-hired camera man. I was still a cameraman on this shoot, but Trenton had risen to the director’s chair and he’s doing a bang-up job on this movie.
It was COLD… but we didn’t care… we had a porn movie to make and we had our stars Roman Todd and Devin Franco ready to go. We lit a fire, cranked up the heat and captured some magic.
The original working title was “Aaron’s Cock,” but as the script grew and changed, we decided on the running joke of his name being Mike Cauke which sounds like “my cock.” And Cauke For President was born.
We cast the then unknown Matthew Bosch as Mike… his boyish looks and gigantic dick made it a no-brainer. We added Nick Prescott, Tex Davidson, Dallas Steele, David Benjamin, Adam Ramzi and Luke Adams to the mix and the movie took on a life of its own.
It took on a life of its own… the movie became the biggest hit I ever directed and was nominated for more awards than I could even remember. I still have people asking me about it and last week while I was on a self-imposed retreat in Palm Springs for some much-needed downtime, I met a very handsome lawyer from Canada who told me that the scene with Tex and David was one of his favorite gay porn scenes ever. When he told me this, he didn’t know that I’d directed that movie and written that scene.
Anyway… now that CITIZEN Aaron Schock, anti-gay former Senator who voted against gay people every chance he got has been… well, photographed making out with his hands down a dude’s pants while walking around half naked at Coachella… I figure it’s time for us to go back to Cauke and have some fun.
There’s a HUGE gallery of pics from the movie after the jump… Or just CLICK HERE to see Cauke In Action...
Not entirely sure what I think about this yet, but I like it a lot more than anything from her last album. Madonna seemed to lose her way in the 2010s, following weird trends that she never quite fit. This new song is mostly whispered and feels rather microscopic next to the huge, bombastic and obtuse songs like “Bitch, I’m Madonna,” but this is exactly where she seems to feel the most at home.
It doesn’t hurt that she’s joined by the stunningly hot Maluma.
So the bare bone of the story is that a man (whose name we don’t know) divorced and was forced to live with his parents for a few months. He managed to get back on his feet and got his own place, eventually sending for his stuff… But his parents had destroyed $28,000 of his porn and told him that they did it for “his own good.” Yeah, fuck you, dad… I’ll decide what’s good for me and what isn’t, thanks.
Of course, mainstream news can’t ever be trusted to report on anything porn related without a few snide comments and that whole “I DON’T WATCH PORN” thing that basic mainstream people do.
“Believe it or not, one reason for why I destroyed your porn was for your own mental and emotional heath. I would have done the same if I had found a kilo of crack cocaine. Someday, I hope you will understand.”
Well… sorry, but you can’t just decide which items that don’t belong to you you’re going to destroy and which you aren’t. So… he’s suing his parents and I hope he wins.
Also… you can have my porn when you take it from my cold, dead hand.
Today’s WHATTHEFUCK. Amazon is filled with all sorts of self-published works of fiction, how-to, self-help and other random pieces of writing that defy description. Anyone can publish their own eBooks and this has lead us to a place where every fetish imaginable has been exhausted and we’re now into the unimaginable.
This being us to… Creamed In The Butt By My Handsome Living Corn. A book that… well, it’s about a farmer named Matthew McConneymay who meets Lipton, a… man-sized ear of corn who’s funny and charming and headed to the same agricultural conference as our protagonist… you know how these things go… boy meets vegetable and things heat up.
One of the more touching moments is how Matthew is taken with the corn’s beautiful yellow kerneled skin.
It’s also rather telling that even though Matthew is willing to date pretty much anything, but he still manages to find one that looks like himself.
Not sure how BelAmi manages to keep finding those stunning young men with such incredible bodies, big, uncut dicks and that look of joy on their faces while they’re fucking… but it’s been many years of incredible porn like this.
There’s no story or setup with this one… this is just Jean-Daniel, Tom Pollock and Rhys Jagger fucking. According to my buddy over at BelAmi, all 3 of the guys were working in their offices, Rhys in Bratislava and the other pair in the Prague office. And having worked in some porn studios… yeah, sometimes the guys are that hot.
Sure… they’ve all got great bodies and those classic Eastern European looks, and apparently they’re all friends off-camera, so there’s a camaraderie that exists here. The scene is split between two separate videos…but trust me, both are hot.
It’s kinda lazy comedy and low-hanging fruit… but it’s at least kinda funny… Emma Stone plays an actress playing the titular “mom who was away for some reason” while her husband has sex with her son. Or something.
It gets a bit tired for gay Porn to be such an easy goto joke, but straight people, bless their hearts, love to get the gay laugh in.
Anyway… if you really wanna see some good Dad/Son action… my own movie Like Father Like Son that has no “mom comes home” moment, and a much happier ending.
After a day of buying more candles, some new towels, new pillow cases and a new reading light… I came across the IKEA food area and I had an idea….
Two shots vodka
Half shot IKEA Lingon Berry syrup
Dash lemon bitters
Combine ingredients jn a shaker, strain and serve in a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a Swedish fish.
Put it in your mouth and swallow.
I hadn’t heard this song until I was at the Red Line (a kinda gay neighborhood bar staggering distance from my place) and it was playing… Apparently it’s a couple years old, but after I Shazammed it and added it to my phone’s playlist and it came up while I was driving home from a job in Hollywood last night… I discovered that it’s a REALLY good “driving home fast down the 101 late at night” song.
And… why haven’t I been asked to direct a video for him yet? I love doing music videos and I work cheap… practically for free as long as it’s not porn….
I have a bit of a confession to make. I couldn’t remember if I directed this scene or not, so I had to look it up. I didn’t. But that said… I DO remember shooting it very well and I remember just how much chemistry Jay and Jesse had on set and how they went off to have fun together afterward.
The reason I’m even bringing up this scene from 5 years ago is that someone on Twitter recently started bad-mouthing Jesse with some rather obnoxious, ageist and frankly just false bullshit about him. The Twitter user (who blocked me once I told him that I actually know Jesse well and that he was totally wrong) said that Jesse refused to do scenes with Latino and black men on Titan. This is not only incorrect… it’s unfair to suggest that there’s any racial motivations with Jesse at all. Jesse was the one who, upon seeing Jay’s pictures, called up both (then production-head) Paul Wilde and me asking to do a scene with “that hot new younger guy you have.”
OH and he also said that Jesse is 66… which… fucking Hell if he looks like THIS at 66… that’s pretty amazing. But no… Jesse is 45. And I know this to be true because as a porn director and Photogrpaher, my job includes making sure I get copies of his IDs… so… yeah, I know how old he is.
My buddy Matt Baume, who you can see make cameo appearances in my movies Cauke For President and Cauke For Free, has one of my favorite YouTube Channels and he’s been doing a semi-regular series called “Culture Cruise” and he dissects queer content in mainstream TV. If you like this video, check out his looks at Golden Girls and Married With Children.
But this video is great… I love Matt’s stuff.